Remember courtesy?

Pittsburgh has the second-most courteous drivers in the US. True story. Heard it on the morning radio recently - some study by a national driving organization (not AAA).

I don't know how they judged "courtesy," but from what I can see on my evening commute I can only say this: If Pittsburgh has the second-most courteous drivers, I shudder to think of what cities lower in rank are dealing with.

Although I travel a four-land highway for the better part of my drive home, it can take a long time. Part of the reason are two on-ramps very close together and a stop-light at the nearest bridge. If people are feeling sensible, you get a my turn-your turn approach to cars coming down the on-ramp. But every once in a while, some jag-off (that's Pittsburgh-ese for jack-ass), decides to squeeze into oncoming traffic. Of course, this brings the well-oiled machine to a halt. Think of those Visa check card commercials where everything is going so smoothly, then some dork tries to pay with cash. Exactly.

Then there's the two-lane road that runs parallel to the highway up to the bridge. Sometimes I take this route, as I did yesterday. But as I'm sitting waiting for my light, there are cars coming from behind me, driving a few feet to a hundred yards into oncoming traffic, and making an illegal right on red at the light. Big sign "No turn on red." I even saw one joker make an illegal right on red from Washington's Landing, then make an illegal left on red onto the bridge. In one car (a big, honking SUV), a perky young blonde leaned out the passenger window, yelled "Sucker!" and laughed as they make their illegal turn.

And here I thought that double-yellow line had meaning! Silly me.

All of this time I spend in the daily driving survival of the fittest led me to a more profound thought. Whatever happened to common courtesy? Like its cousin, common sense, it doesn't seem to be so common.

Big things, little things - the lack of courtesy is astounding. I went to college at a small Franciscan university. One of the things you learned very quickly as a freshman was to hold the door for the person behind you, even if that person was a few feet away - and especially if that person was handicapped, on crutches, or carrying a heavy load. Failure to do so would be met with a very loud, "GEE THANKS FOR HOLDING THE DOOR!" Very embarrassing.

This small behavior has carried over to my adult life. It's such a small thing - hold the damn door. Thus I am appalled when out at the mall I see my fellow shoppers not only fail to hold the door for the woman with the double-stroller, they let the door close on her! My five-year old runs to the door and manfully struggles to pull it open for her while the big hulking guy pushes right around. Nice. Who'd have thought you could learn courtesy from a kid who can't tie his own shoes?

When you get right down to it, courtesy is about respect. No courtesy, no respect. No respect and you can justify almost anything: failure to hold a door, road rage, cussing out someone who doesn't give you what you want, bad table manners, talking during movies, beating up a black guy in a white neighborhood, shooting someone, going into a pizzeria and blowing yourself up. Big things are made of little things.

Just stop and think about it. Imagine a world where everybody respects everybody else. Racial tensions evaporate. Terrorism plummets. Anti-gay sentiments disappear. If you can respect the outer differences, you can get past them to the internal commonalities. Fail to respect them, and well, the world's a mess.

Big things are made of little things. So as you go about your daily life, stop and think about it. How can I be more courteous today? How can I, in whatever way possible, show I respect my fellow humans.

In other words, hold the door.