Crossroads, part 3

So I talked to my boss. She gave me more to think about.

Shit. Why can't things be easy?

The fact is that the writing job has changed, and I have some reading to do before I can determine whether I really want to go back, or whether this is a knee-jerk reaction to a stressful situation. Sort of like a child reaching for a favorite stuffed animal after a bad dream, or grabbing a pint of Ben & Jerry's after a bad day.

The good news, perhaps the best news, is that my boss was pretty clear that she would support whatever makes me happy, and not dreading coming to work. The decent news is that she has no doubts about my ability to do the job, and is willing to work with me to help me gain the confidence/skills/knowledge, whatever I think I need should I decide to stay where I am. That support alone is a serious factor to consider. It's not often you get a boss that is that understanding and supportive.

And finally, perhaps the best personal news, is that I have defined who I am. It's similar to a concept my friend Moritz wrote about; defining yourself in terms of what you are, not what you are not. I am a writer. Maybe I'm a little like Superman, playing one role to the world, but my real person is something else. Project manager by day, novelist by night.

I often tell folks that you must choose to be happy. Circumstances may suck, but happiness is always within your grasp.

Why is that always so much easier to believe when you're telling someone else?

Why does life always have to be so damn hard?

Crossroads, Part 2

Crossroads, Part 2

A few weeks ago, I wrote about being at a crossroads in my career. Do I continue forward, turn left, or turn right. But yesterday, it occurred to me that a crossroads does not contain only three possible directions. There is a fourth - going back the way you came.

For a few months now, I have had the feeling that perhaps I made a mistake when I left my career as a technical writer. Yes, the job had become slightly routine and mundane, but at least I understood it. I knew what I had to do to be successful - and I felt successful. For at least the past two years, I've not felt particular successful at work. As I told a friend of mine, I don't even know what the definition of "success" is anymore, much less if I can meet it.

But the option to go back was not there. We had a technical writer; I hired him. We had a second one at one point, but we had to lay him off, and we weren't hiring that position right now.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday, a fellow project manager informed me that person had resigned. A wonderful possibility opened up. Perhaps I could go back. I pondered a bit. I talked to my husband. I talked to the other project manager, and another friend at work. They all agreed that it seemed like a good opportunity, just what I'd been hoping and praying for these past months. They agreed that they could see me being successful at that job, and acknowledged that I'd been so in the past.

So I rolled the dice. I emailed my manager. I want out.

It is amazing how the peace, and calm, and "lightness" of spirit feels when you've made a decision that you've been putting off for a long time, a decision that is "right." Today was the first time in a long time that I drove to work enjoying the bring spring sunshine, instead of dreading my arrival at the office. The first day in a long time where I woke up thinking, "Today is a day of opportunity," instead of "yay, another day of getting my ass chewed."

It feels good.

I do not know what will come of my email. I meet with my boss this afternoon. I am hopeful that she will support me, but ultimately I don't need that support - I can apply directly to HR for the writing position. But she's not just my boss, she's a friend, so I'd rather go with her blessing, so to speak.

Meanwhile, I will enjoy the spiritual "lightness" that comes of knowing what I am professionally. I am a writer, and I am taking steps to get back to that place.

As Bon Jovi said, "Who says you can't go home?"

Finding your inner Gypsy - and feeding her

If you live in Pittsburgh, and are looking for new places to eat, read on. If you are a foodie, and are interested in reading about good places to eat, read on. If you are neither of those things, well, stop right here because this post will probably bore you to tears.

If you go down to Pittsburgh's South Side, turn off Carson onto 13th St., and turn again onto Bingham St., you will see City Theatre (also a good spot, but a topic for another post). Next door to City Theatre, you will see a quiet, unassuming restaurant called The Gypsy Cafe. Gypsy is owned by a former co-worker of mine, Melanie, and her husband. And if you are looking for a local place with good food and a great atmosphere, well, Gypsy is your place.

Gypsy advertises itself as "offering an eclectic selection of homestyle dishes" and "real food, real people, real entertainment, and real atmosphere." The menu is a selection of pan-European dishes, heavily influenced by the ethnic background of the owners and also a Mediterranean flavor. Sound off-putting to meat-and-potatoes American? Not hardly.

We first went to Gypsy several years ago because a) we had theater tickets and Gypsy was right next door, and b) to support my friend in her culinary career path. We have continued to go back multiple times over the years because yes, it's that good.

First, the atmosphere. I'm not sure what the space was used for before. I know Gypsy's website says it is a reclaimed church. There must have been something requiring glass cases at one point because next to the bar is a case that reminds me of a deli case, tastefully draped in a Mediterranean-style throw. The restaurant is not big; it holds maybe 30 tables that generally seat 2-4, although I have seen them pushed together to accommodate parties of 8-12 people. The decor is the colors of the Med, rich reds, golds, greens, very warm and inviting. There are a number of prints on the walls, including some that look like Greek-inspired icons. It's a very warm, cosy place to eat. Now that it is summer, I noticed one cafe-style table on the sidewalk, although nobody was seated there. They did have the door open, so we got a nice spring breeze, without the crushing cold of over-worked A/C like some places I've been, where you turn into a popsicle before your dinner even arrives.

The wait staff are, without fail, friendly and inviting, willing to share their opinions of the food and to help you select something you will truly enjoy. And if you happen to be there on a night when Melanie is out mingling with the dinner crowd, you get to enjoy her gregarious, friendly banter.

Entertainment varies, but if you like jazz, I highly recommend checking out nights when Don Aliquo and his jazz group are performing. Fantastic. They also have performances by The Gypsy Strings, another local group. I've never done Readings by Rebecca, but if you're into that sort of thing, give it a shot. Gypsy has also participated in the South Side Soup Walk, a tour of soup offerings by South Side restaurants - proceeds benefit charity. They've done special "ghost story" events involving local buildings, and host Dr. Sketchy art events. And if you just want to enjoy a good meal, hey, you can do that too. Something for everyone.

Speaking of the food, well, that's what you go to a restaurant for, right? I've had some great meals - in fact, I've never had a bad one. We went last Sunday with friends of ours, and they agreed the meal was all we promised it would be. My hubby had the Szekaly Gulyas, a Transylvanian stew with Hungarian spices, slow-cooked pork, in a cream sauce over buttered egg noodles. It's one of his favorites. One of our friends had the Spice-dusted Rack of lamb served with roasted red potatoes in a spring pesto sauce. I was torn between the Apricot-Glazed Pork Loin and the Scallion Gnocchi, and eventually settled on the pork. The glaze was perfect, sweet, but not too sweet. After I finished, I found the serrated knife they had given me, but I hadn't needed it; the pork was so tender I cut it with my butter knife.

Gypsy also offers a selection of appetizers. Someday, I swear I am going to try the Saganaki, which is Greek-cheese bread doused with Ouzo, flamed, and then extinguished with fresh-squeezed lemon juice. On Sunday, I went for the Roasted Garlic Hummus with triangles of fresh pita bread. One time, they had a trio of hummus, including one with smoked salmon, which I wasn't sure I'd really like. I would not have called myself a hummus fan, but I like the hummus at Gypsy - it must be prepared right. It actually has flavor, instead of being a bland mush of chickpeas. The smoked salmon hummus that night was my favorite; pity I haven't seen it on the menu since.

While you can order a la cart at Gypsy, my favorite way to order is from the "prix fixe" menu. For $20 you get one appetizer, a house or special salad selection (and the dressings are all lovely, I had the pomegranate vinaigrette on a house salad), and an entrée from the list. But whatever you choose, the menu is fresh and seasonal - and delicious.

So if you and your spouse/significant other/best friend are looking for a truly special, local dining experience, pop on over to the Gypsy Cafe:

1330 Bingham St.

412-381-GYPSY (4977)

http://www.gypsycafe.net/

And tell Melanie "hi."

Writing Experiment - Week 1

So last week I said I was starting a writing experiment. I'm a week into it and I have to say, it feels good. I usually manage to get about 1,000 words per day down. I'm almost through most of the rough sketch I put down for this story over 10 years ago. Pretty soon I'm going to have to start making up new material. =)

I have no idea where this is going to end. In my pipe dreams, I write this fantastically successful novel, so successful that I can tell my day job to go jump in the river, and stay home to write full time. Realistically, I know that is not likely to occur. I'm sure that for every author who actually manages to get a book published, there are three or four who couldn't sell ice in the desert. And of the handful who manage to get one book published, the number of folks who go on to successful multiple published works is even smaller.

But I've come to the conclusion that publication, while nice, doesn't matter. At least, it's not my primary goal. I have a creative outlet again. I have found over the last week that the thought of"Hey, I've got a great idea for the story - I'm going to go home and write it out," makes the day a little more tolerable. I can go through my mundane corporate day looking forward to something. My work from 8:30 to 5:00 pays the bills. My work from 7:00 to 9:00 (or so) feeds my soul.

So things are good. I hope the momentum continues. I think it will. And if you're a friend looking for a copy to read, let me know. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Let the Writing Commence

Tonight starts the grand writing group experiment. I need to complete 1,000 words per day on at least 4 days per week (well, there are lower goals, but why not shoot for the top?). I have to post these words for others to read.

I am excited.

I am terrified.

What if I can't get the words written? Worse, what if I do write them, and others day, "This is the worst dreck I've ever read - you call yourself a writer?" Oy vey.

It feels like high school speech time all over again.

I hated high school.

Wish me luck.