Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Building a Leader

"Great leaders are born, not made."

Bullshit.

We've all heard this mantra, usually in response to a perceived failure in leadership. It's a convenient excuse because it absolves the person of any responsibility. It's not his or her fault he/she can't lead the way out of a wet paper bag, because leaders are born.

As a society, we must know this isn't true. Why do I say that? Look around and see for yourself. Books, seminars, courses, heck, even entire college degrees exist to make us experts in "leadership." So either, on some level, we know that there is at least something that can be learned about leadership and are fooling ourselves, or we are gullible sheep who spend thousands of dollars to "learn" something that is an inborn trait. And while it is entirely possible for the latter to be true, my money is on the former.

Now, it is true that leadership comes more naturally to some people. And it is also true that some people have a personality that make it easier for them to get followers. But personality and skill are not mutually inclusive. That is, an attractive personality does not make for great leadership. We all know people who are funny, sensitive, good to spend time with, and great at parties who are also awful leaders.

I can also cite at least one person who history has considered a pretty good leader, but who was a real jerk: George Patton. Chances are you've seen the movie with George C. Scott. Patton was a conceited jerk. He really was that abrasive, obnoxious and demanding. And most of the soldiers under his command respected him and considered him a great leader. I remember an account I heard of a soldier who served under Patton during the war and who was a pall bearer at Patton's funeral. He considered it an honor.

So, what is leadership? I mean, clearly this is important stuff, especially in corporate America. Everyone is exhorted to be a leader. There is big "L" leadership (think CEOs and generals), and small "l" leadership (someone, maybe in your company, who does not have a fancy title, but somehow gets everybody moving in the same direction at the same time). It's on annual performance reviews, for crying out loud - the thing most companies use to determine whether or not your going to get a raise this year. But what is it?

For me, it's a bit like pornography: difficult to define, but I know it when I see it.

But I can tell you what it's not: It's not a title, like CEO or COO. Those are "leaders," but they do not necessarily have good leadership skills. Plenty of companies have been dragged under by "leaders" who couldn't get out of the aforementioned wet paper bag. Being granted a title doesn't grant you wisdom.

So think of someone you consider a good leader. I'll give you a few moments. What qualities, in your opinion, make him or her a good leader? Tell you what, I'll give you my list (in no particular order) and we can compare notes.

1. Honesty/Integrity

While I said this list was in no particular order, I cannot imagine honesty, or integrity, not heading the list of leadership qualities. If you can't tell the truth or if people don't believe you are telling the truth, how do you get them to follow you? I don't know a lot of people who would follow a liar. "I can't believe a word she says, but she's really fun a parties, so let's go along with her idea!" Not.

Leaders tell the truth and the truth is often unpalatable. Yeah, nobody wants to hear that your department is failing to do its job. But if that's the truth, well, you need to hear it. Not so you can be blamed or feel guilty, but so you can recognize a need - to get better at your job.

Similarly, a leader has to have personal integrity. A leader puts up his hand and says "That one's my fault" when he is in fact responsible. A leader does not pass off the responsibility to someone else, either above or below her on the corporate food chain. And to be a leader, other people have to believe you have integrity. They have to believe you will put up your hand when appropriate and not pass the buck. It's wonderful if you say, "I have a lot of personal integrity." It's even more wonderful if the guy two cubes over who has to work with you every day can say it.

Think Harry Truman. "The buck stops here." At the risk of sounding like Bill O'Reilly (shudder) if you want to be considered a leader, make your sphere of influence a "no spin zone."

2. Diplomacy

This is the one that gets me every time. Honest is a wonderful thing, and sometimes the truth hurts. But leaders don't hit people over the head with the truth as if it was a baseball bat. There is, in fact, a way to be honest, but to phrase it in such a way that people are not demoralized or feel that you are making a personal attack. Personally, I can be awfully blunt. There is a time for that. There is also a time for diplomacy. Going into a confrontation with all guns blazing is not always the right thing to do, and will not inspire others to follow you. In all likelihood, you will antagonize and alienate people who would otherwise support you. Trust me, I know this one first hand.

Good leaders, most of them, know this. If Patton had a major failing as a leader, it was his struggle to be diplomatic. If Eisenhower had a major accomplishment as a leader, it was his skill at diplomacy. Eisenhower was a mediocre tactician at best. He was a phenomenal diplomat. Who else could have kept Montgomery and Patton from killing each other? The bottom line is that leaders are not bullies. They do not use brute force to convince others, they invite them - and they issue the invitation in such a way that people want to go along.

Important note: diplomacy is not spin. "Spin" takes the facts and twists them so that one party or another looks better. Diplomacy presents the facts in such a way that all parties want to participate in the problem solving.

3. Inspiration/Vision

Leaders almost always have a vision. Somewhere to go, something to do, something to be. And not only do they have a vision, they make other people want to take the trip with them. It's not a personal odyssey. It's an invitation to journey together. A good leader lets people know that not only does she have a plan, she knows how to execute that plan, it is thought out, and that others are an important part of the plan. A leader doesn't talk about how "I" am going to do something. He talks about how "we" are going to do something - and when you listen to him talk, you think "Gosh, that sounds great! Let's go!" A leader can get everybody to move in the same direction at the same time.

Inspiration, like honesty, also doesn't gloss over messy reality. Inspiration can acknowledge the pain that the journey will entail, but still make people want to take it. Because a good vision, and the ability to inspire, makes people believe the pain will be worth it in the end. The sacrifices will be worth it. The value proposition is understood.

After all, who wants to follow someone who has no idea where he is going in the first place, or can't adequately articulate why we want to go there anyway?

4. Respect

Leaders do not demean people. Nobody wants to follow a boor who is constantly telling them how deficient they are, or making them feel inadequate. A leader makes the people following her feel that they are valued members of the team, no matter how big or small the contribution they make. That office admin who made 50 copies of your position paper? A non-leader treats that as something that of course she did because that's her job. A leader acknowledges her contribution and the value she provided by a) taking some of the burden and b) helping to make sure everybody got a copy of the information needed to do the job. A leader says "thank you" and means it.

Nobody is irreplaceable. Any competent person realizes this. But that doesn't mean that everybody shouldn't feel valued.

5. Encouraging

Another thing that's really hard for me. There is a fine line, in my mind, between being genuinely encouraging and being condescending and phony - a rah-rah cheerleader. A good leader can let the team know they are moving in the right direction, despite stumbling blocks, and make people want to continue. They can look at the giant mound of work, say "Wow, that's a giant mound of work - let's get it done!" and folks want to do it. And a leader can look at someone who is trying really, really hard, but not quite getting it done, and both praise them for the effort while offering corrections and tips for what isn't going right.

I am not advocating praise for praise sake just to make people feel better. Contrary to some belief, people can spot a phony a mile away. They will know that they are doing a crappy job and you are pandering to their self esteem. But their is a way to acknowledge "yes, you are not quite doing the job right" without tearing them down - and propping the person up by letting him know you genuinely believe he will get it right.

Good leaders build people up, either by praise for what is being done right or constructive suggestions on what to correct. Leaders do not tear people down - especially not in public.

6. Competency/Intelligence

Good leaders are not dipsticks who can't tie their own shoes. A leader has a certain level of competency, of ability, to do his job. Maybe not your job. But he knows something about the field. If he's a corporate officer, he knows how to run a company. And while he may not know exactly how to code software, or build a plane, or do anything, he is intelligent enough to a) follow what you are saying, b) know when he's over his head, and c) when he needs to learn enough to keep up. A good leader doesn't bluff his knowledge like he's playing poker. He doesn't pretend to know more than he does. He is comfortable admitting that he doesn't know everything and is willing to try to learn. A good leader also knows that he can't possibly know everything, which is why he wants you to be on his team - because you possess knowledge that he doesn't, and he believes you can do the job. He is intelligent enough to recognize talent when he sees it.

A good leader is also smart enough to know when people are smart enough to see through her. She doesn't try to pull a fast one. People who try to pass off one thing as something else, generally come off badly, because the perception is "What, is she so stupid she doesn't think we know better?" Doesn't do much for your standing as a leader.

And finally,

7. Respected

Respect is not a one-way street. A leader not only respects the people on her team, she is respected by them. Why? See all the other attributes on my list. Leaders who have those attributes, generally have the respect of their teams. That doesn't mean they always are in agreement with each other. But you can respect, and follow, someone you don't agree with if you believe he is honest, has integrity, is respectful of you, is intelligent, can be diplomatic, has an inviting vision, and is encouraging of your efforts. It's really hard to follow a blunt incompetent idiot who is a liar, tears you down all the time, and has no respect for your person.

Do I have all these attributes? No - but I'm trying to work on it. I also don't believe leadership is a destination. A good leader never assumes she never has any more work to do in these areas. A leader is always trying to improve.

So take a look around you and ask yourself: Who is leading me and do I want to go there? Where am I trying to lead people and why would they want to follow me?

The answers just might surprise you.

Monday, August 9, 2010

When Private is Public

A few weeks ago, I learned that the 4th grade teacher at my kids' school was not asked to return for the coming school year (which is a shame, because she was a good teacher). The scuttle-butt as I heard it from another parent (gotta love the small-school rumor mill), is that she made disparaging comments about the school and parents in a Facebook status update.

To quote a colleague, "Turns out people can read what you say on the Internet."

The fact is, the Internet has changed personal privacy. Way back in the day, it was harder, although not impossible, to target disgruntled employees. I mean, if you're complaining to friends over dinner in your own home, you can be reasonably sure that the object of your complaint won't know, as long as the person to whom you are complaining doesn't rat you out. After all, while spy-style listening devices look really cool on TV, that sort of thing that common in the general public. Average citizens don't wiretap their employees (we leave that to the Federal government).

The pesky thing about the Internet is this: nothing is really private. Nothing. Once it's out in the ether, it can be found - especially if one is talented, knowledgeable, and diligent enough. And it never really goes away, either. Even if you delete it, the ghost of that email, that photo, or that blog post is still there. Oh yes it is.

But the Internet is also tricksy, my precious. It fools you into thinking what you've posted is private. Web pages let you mark photo albums as private, only to be accessed by invited individuals. You need passwords and ciphers to see account information. Everything sealed behind a steel door, right?

Well, maybe for the average Joe Computer User. We aren't all cipher experts employed by the CIA. For most of us, passwords are just fine. But the reality is that the "steel door" is more like a black curtain. And curtains rip, intentionally or accidentally.

But let's leave the world of cyber-crime aside for the moment, because I'm not really talking about hackers or those nasty people who write malware, or viruses. Because sometimes the more damaging activity comes from a more insidious source: ourselves.

Yeah, you got that right. Us. We do it to ourselves all the time. Our total lack of situational awareness is sometimes more damaging than all the computer nasties out there. Let's take the teacher example. She didn't say it in the privacy of her own home, she said it on Facebook. In front of how many hundreds of her closest "friends." Plus, if her Facebook security wasn't set up properly, her status could be seen by anybody, even non-friends.

But let's assume she did have it set up that status updates were restricted to friends. The school principal is on Facebook. And if they were "friends," well...

You see where this goes. No place good.

Lack of situational awareness. This is why my boss is not a friend on Facebook. And while I do have a couple of work friends there, I try very hard not to post specific rants about work frustrations. Because Facebook isn't private.

Oh yes, I know. Statements made to our Facebook friends shouldn't be used against us. To a certain extent I agree. I've heard stories of teachers being censured or fired because they posted a picture of themselves holding a glass of wine (no joke, my sister knows someone who got in trouble over this). And if the picture is of the teacher at her college reunion with other adults, responsibly enjoying an adult beverage, no, that shouldn't matter. If, on the other hand, the picture is of the teacher at a beach party doing belly shots and there is evidence of underage drinkers, well, "lack of situational awareness" is a bitch.

There is no doubt that Facebook, or the Internet, is a powerful networking tool. You can find jobs, lost college classmates, or information for your kid's school project. But it's all smushed together. And as a co-worker of mine wisely said, humans as a species have not evolved to a point where we are capable of separating these things for ourselves. We need someone to help us help ourselves.

Staying with Facebook, another co-worker said what Facebook really needs are levels or "boxes," so he can have a "personal" box of friends and a "professional" box of friends. And you can kind of do it now, but it's clunky. Because sometimes he says something that he only wants to share with the personal box. And he wants to be reasonably sure (again, this is the Internet), that the people in one box can't open the other box and see what's going on in there. He says it's possible, and since he's a fairly smart computer guy, I believe him. But Facebook isn't there yet. And we humans seem to be incapable of separating our stuff into boxes in our own minds.
Right now, saying something on Facebook, or the Internet in general, is like walking into a noisy, crowded room and shouting. Maybe no one will hear you. Maybe someone will - and it might not be the someone you intended to hear you.

And maybe Mom was right after all. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Especially on the Internet.