What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Pose this question to a group of kindergartners, or any elementary-age group, and you'll get a bevy of excited answers. Policeman! Fireman! Astronaut! Movie Star! Rock star! Baseball player! On and on. The enthusiasm - and the optimism - is boundless.

Pose this question to a group of high schoolers, and the response is a bit more subdued, and usually prefaced with, "Well, I'd like to be..." and ends with "..., but I'm not very good at it."

Pose this question to a group of college students and, well, the answer isn't about wants. It's about "going to be's" based on whatever a person's declared major is. Sometimes, you get a shrug of the shoulders. And quite often, the initial answer does not match what actually happens. Take me: I started out thinking I'd be an attorney, gradually decided to be a teacher, and now I'm a project manager at a software company. Say what?

Pose this question to a group of adults, and you'll get anything from a misty-eyed, "If I could do it all over..." to a disgusted "I don't have time for this childish nonsense."

I've asked myself the question frequently lately. And I am not ashamed to say, "I have no clue." But I know it's not what I'm doing now. I mean really, what child says, "Ooo, I want to be a project manager at a software company!" Give me a break. It makes me envious of my children. My soon-to-be-10-year-old daughter has the answer pat: she wants to be a choreographer and costume designer. My soon-to-be-8-year-old son doesn't know, but he still figures he can do anything - including playing professional baseball. :)

The operative part of the question, for me, is when do we "grow up"? Is it chronological, psychological, what?

I think I've found the answer: We've grown up when we cease to dream. It's a terrifying thought, to be stuck in a rut of just getting up, working, eating, and sleeping with no hopes/dreams/aspirations. In fact, I think Dante may have defined that as a special level of hell.

What's even more terrifying is that I think I might be there. I'm frankly unhappy with what I'm doing. As I said yesterday, I see very little chance for real success and, as an achievement-oriented person, I find that more than a little depressing. But at the same time, I've been in one place so long, I find the prospect of change frightening. Where I am might not be enjoyable, but it's safe: I get paid, I get good benefits, and I've been here a long time. So long, in fact, that it's tough for me to imagine what else I can do.

I read somewhere that more and more college students are entering college undeclared and may change majors multiple times. Some have scoffed at this, saying it's just one more sign of the immaturity of the next generation.

But maybe they're actually the smart ones. Maybe they realize the question isn't as easy as it seems. Maybe they realize, subconsciously, that growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be.

So what do I want to be when I grow up? No clue. I don't know if you've answered that question, or if you're happy with your current answer. But if you've got any suggestions, feel free to pass them my way.

And to all the kids out there: Growing up sucks. Don't do it. That's my advice. Stay young - and don't be afraid to dream.