Crossroads, Part 2

Crossroads, Part 2

A few weeks ago, I wrote about being at a crossroads in my career. Do I continue forward, turn left, or turn right. But yesterday, it occurred to me that a crossroads does not contain only three possible directions. There is a fourth - going back the way you came.

For a few months now, I have had the feeling that perhaps I made a mistake when I left my career as a technical writer. Yes, the job had become slightly routine and mundane, but at least I understood it. I knew what I had to do to be successful - and I felt successful. For at least the past two years, I've not felt particular successful at work. As I told a friend of mine, I don't even know what the definition of "success" is anymore, much less if I can meet it.

But the option to go back was not there. We had a technical writer; I hired him. We had a second one at one point, but we had to lay him off, and we weren't hiring that position right now.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday, a fellow project manager informed me that person had resigned. A wonderful possibility opened up. Perhaps I could go back. I pondered a bit. I talked to my husband. I talked to the other project manager, and another friend at work. They all agreed that it seemed like a good opportunity, just what I'd been hoping and praying for these past months. They agreed that they could see me being successful at that job, and acknowledged that I'd been so in the past.

So I rolled the dice. I emailed my manager. I want out.

It is amazing how the peace, and calm, and "lightness" of spirit feels when you've made a decision that you've been putting off for a long time, a decision that is "right." Today was the first time in a long time that I drove to work enjoying the bring spring sunshine, instead of dreading my arrival at the office. The first day in a long time where I woke up thinking, "Today is a day of opportunity," instead of "yay, another day of getting my ass chewed."

It feels good.

I do not know what will come of my email. I meet with my boss this afternoon. I am hopeful that she will support me, but ultimately I don't need that support - I can apply directly to HR for the writing position. But she's not just my boss, she's a friend, so I'd rather go with her blessing, so to speak.

Meanwhile, I will enjoy the spiritual "lightness" that comes of knowing what I am professionally. I am a writer, and I am taking steps to get back to that place.

As Bon Jovi said, "Who says you can't go home?"